I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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