I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize