Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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