he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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