I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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