IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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