I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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