I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I want to make a zoo with you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
