capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The adults are the big ones right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
