would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
