He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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