okay pat passed out under dana's car
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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