what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
