Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
