I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
