She said her name was "party"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
