every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
