he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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