No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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