Princesses don't give blow jobs
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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