we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
