Christians are straight up FREAKS
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
