You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want nice things and good sex
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
