it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
