Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
