She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she peed on how many people?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
