woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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