Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
