You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
