and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
