They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize