It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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