So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
bring money and cleavage
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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