I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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