they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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