please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
