Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
