Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
