It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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