he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize