Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
