Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize