She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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