we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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