Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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