took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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