and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
vagina is talking i cant
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
