Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
