So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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