You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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