while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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