And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
