How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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