these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
