Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
