I can't watch pbs sober anymore
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
