Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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