i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
