Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
