the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
MIDGETS
????
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
