If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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