New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
