whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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