C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
