I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize