I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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