Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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