I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
