yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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