there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
