I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
