Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
