I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
