Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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