She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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